[singlepic=59,320,240,,right]With the news that the canoe couple John and Anne Darwin have been sentenced to six years, it stirred a scene of a presumed-dead father paddling across the Atlantic to see his sons in time for Christmas, feigning amnesia.
While Quintessential Comedy in no way condones money laundering – we don’t even have a tumble dryer – read on for the full lyrics (1st draft) to the Chris Rea-esque Canoeing Home for Christmas…
Canoeing home for Christmas
Can’t wait to see the look on their faces
Paddling home for Christmas, yea
Well I’m paddling down that line
I’ve got my fake passport
Tucked into the band of
My brand new
Panama hat
Paddling the Atlantic
Canoeing home for Christmas
Its gonna take some time
But I’ll get there
I’ll claim amnesia
Oh I’ve had my time in the sun
Enough of being dead
And hiding in a room in the house next doorSo I sing for you
Though you can’t hear me
When I get sent down
And feel you beside me
I am paddling home for Christmas
canoeing home for Christmas
With a few thousand quidI take look at the constable opposite me
He’s just the same
As all the other copsTop to toe in white linen suit
Oh, I got a nice tan in the Panama sun
I’m paddling home for Christmas, yea
Home to see my sons
So I sing for you
Though you can’t hear me
When I get sent down
And feel you beside me
Paddling the Atlantic
Paddling home for Christmas
Canoeing home for Christmas
With two hundred and fifty thousand pounds
